Am I the only one who gave up on trust? I used to think it was so important, I used to give it so willingly. So easily. Now I fear that I’ll never give it fully to anyone ever again. Is that so terrible? Is that so wrong? From what I understand, what I am feeling is referred to as “broken.” The only problem with that is that it doesn’t matter how hard I try, the pieces will never fit back together correctly. A part of me wants to believe this is for the best, yet, I can’t help nut ask… Doesn’t it hurt? Doesn’t it sting? Don’t the memories of forgotten secret handshakes and broken promises ache? Don’t you ever get the creeping feeling that a piece of you is missing? Some will call it coincidence, others fate, but me… I call it pain. I call it betrayal. I call it losing a part of you that always seemed irreplaceable. I call it no more laughing in the middle of class at jokes that aren’t funny. I call it no more sign language that no one understands. I call it no more code names. I call it no more pinky promises. I call it loss. You see, people complain about losing a romantic soul-mate, but how about the soul-mate that is your maid-of-honor? Your best man? Nobody talks about losing them. Nobody talks about the emptiness that comes with it. The true loneliness of it. No one speaks of the racking sobs or the pains in their chests do they? The fact is, we never know what we have until we lose it. And so many of us think of that for love, but it’s more than that. It’s so much more. Especially when that person you forgot you had  turns around and chooses something, someone, somewhere, over you. It’s not easy. I don’t know that it ever has been, but perhaps that is the point. Perhaps the point is not to forgive and forget, but to love and treasure.